Before Dishonor
by Synaptic-Firefly
Summary: She wanted nothing to do with the boy who betrayed them all. He wouldn't rest until he had her at his side...at any cost. Will the encounter become more than just a routine recruiting? 274/362
1. Before Dishonor

SPECIAL NOTE: Whooo...this is a pretty special story. It was heavily collaborated alongside fellow awesome KND writer, Lord Malachite. This took us a couple of weeks to get down too. I highly suggest working with someone on a writing piece in the god-awful hours of the night. You never know what you'd come up with!

**_EDIT: Nothing changed. I just broke it into chapters for easy reading (even I don't have the patience to read through it all in one sitting). _**

**Rating: T**

**Genre: Romance/Drama**

* * *

_**Before Dishonor**_

The darkness no longer felt so tangible as her eyes adjusted to it. Indeed, if what had been revealed to her bore even the hollowest of truths, then darkness might one day become her only friend. There were too many emotions to line up, straighten out, explore. Anger, sorrow, resentment, resistance, resignation.

Rachel McKenzie, Codename Numbuh Three Sixty-Two, Supreme Commander of the Kids Next Door. She had been a lot of different things during her childhood. For her brother. For her parents. For the KND. But when she laid the tapestry of her life before her, the one thing she had never done was take time out for herself. How many different hats had she worn in the KND alone? Tinker, tailor, soldier, spy. All of it for a reason. Rachel had always prided herself on fulfilling her duties without complaint.

_I've spent my entire life tending to the needs of everyone else. All I ever wanted was to just ride off into the sunset. Is Chad right? Will I be denied even that? _Her head drifted upward for answers, revealing the night sky, its moon illuminating the hole in the ground she found herself trapped in. It was an old well, of little use to the school anymore.

While the hole wasn't flooded with water, it was still damp and musty, the stone walls slick with slime and moss. And her sneakers were soaked from standing in the stagnant, ankle deep water. More than likely they were ruined--a perfect ending to her perfect day. Any other decent field operative would be armed with basic 2x4 tech to get them out of this mess. So what did it say about her that calling for help might be her only option?

_Chad said he would come back for you._

_You can't trust him._

_Then who should I trust?_

_Call Nigel or Fanny. Neither would tell what really happened._

_.....I don't really feel like seeing either of them right now. They couldn't possibly understand, anyway. How did I get into this mess?_

_Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to..._

_Too late..._

The answer, of course, was less complex than one would think. All it required was going back to the beginning...

* * *

Rachel believed that her school was home to the snootiest of snobs. Strict dress code, teachers who failed children on purpose for a delicious piece of bribery and students who might as well wear a tie and briefcase. They already acted like adults. They would be more at home in Mr. Boss' office than in a school.

But of course, they had an image to uphold. Appear to be a philanthropist for the greater good, for those less fortunate than them. Every year they held up festivals to help fund money towards public schooling, just to hold up the charade...

She obviously had a purer intention than most of the other families that donated. She had her father donate to the blind, having donated last year for the deaf. She wanted to at least go through the physically challenged than have the money go to better lunches for teachers. People seem to care a lot about those trivial pursuits these days.

She really didn't expect KND work to sour her already dreadful day. Not when she's too busy working the pie booth. Of course, Chad had to eat her karma up by 'helping the kids have fun', aka shooting them with water pistols. How he was here of all places, even appear in the same state as her, was a mystery on it's own.

It figured, really. This was supposed to be a nice Saturday night away from KND work. Just her and the pies and the conscience of having raised money for people who were truly less fortunate than her. And as long as she was in the pie booth, she could keep her interaction with her snobby, nauseating classmates down to a minimum. Rachel had never been popular at her school--something which she knew stemmed back to a social faux pas she had committed back in the fourth grade when she blew off an invitation to a classmate's birthday party because she had KND work.

Of course, passing up on Veronica's invitation wasn't her only infraction--she ended up skipping out on most social events and had turned herself into something of a pariah. While she wasn't exactly bullied, too often she would walk into the girls' room and hear a conversation abruptly end, or catch people pointing at her and whispering conspiratorially to her friends. People didn't approve of her.

But then, Rachel didn't seek their approval anyways. She was comfortable being by herself, with only Harvey to look after. Of course, her little brother was the type to get himself into trouble. More than one of their teachers considered his phobia of being touched to be serious--he had several marks on his record for insubordination due to teachers making the mistake of literally attempting to put him in his place. Fortunately, donations from their father usually smoothed things over with the school. But unlike her father, she wouldn't be around to make excuses for her brother forever.

Rachel tried not to get involved herself unless she felt that Harvey was in real trouble. While she got significantly high marks in most of her subjects and usually did her homework, some of the teachers seemed not to trust her due to her noticeable differences from the other snubbed elite children. She couldn't be as easily manipulated as the others.

Not all of them were like that--Mr Rafferty, her biology teacher, always seemed to brighten up when she came into class, as did Mrs. O'Leary, her English teacher, whom appreciated Rachel's clean poetry and prose in her written assignments. And finally, there was Coach Hagen, a man who had shown her the only physical means of expression and stress relief that she had been able to find in her Academy--gymnastics. "You have the legs of a gymnast!" He praised her frequently, which made her a little uncomfortable but also seemed to give her hope. The fact that she could perform even the most basic feats after too long flying a desk on the Moonbase gave her a large boost of self-confidence.

Rachel's life was complex, but manageable. She could handle it. She could handle her messed up home life. She could handle her annoying school life. She could even handle all he responsibilities of the KND. But now they were beginning to mix violently. Rachel watched in exasperation as Chad Dixon, formerly Numbuh Two Seventy-Four and the boy she had been forced to replace, chased kids around the fair with two small but powerful water pistols, spoiling their cotton candy and soaking them enough to cause trouble with their parents. Wasn't he a teenager now? Couldn't he just go listen to some rock music and talk about sports or girls or cars or whatever it is that young teenage boys do?

The KND operative in her howled and growled with protest over Chad's decision to humiliate and scare off the children, but she endured. Regardless of the problem at hand, she held a firm rule of keeping her personal and professional life separate, though it seems like Chad would rather do away with her internal rules, despite not knowing of them. She turned away, hoping that watching the attack would calm her down.

No good. Their cries grew louder. Why couldn't the adults do something about it for once?!

She growled and slammed her hand on the table, causing a few blueberry pies to dangerously shake from the force. Her fellow worker raised an eyebrow at the scene, but said nothing.

Even after he defected from the KND, he continues to be an ever dominant presence in her life. It was _very_ annoying.

Giving up to the snarls in her gut to kick his teenaged behind all the way to China, she discreetly retreated into the back to where her backpack was lying beside the boxes of pies. Should she just call for back-up instead?

No, definitely not. It's one idiot without his B.R.A and no other Teen Ninja gear on him. _I can handle him myself...!_

Besides, calling for backup when she was already on the scene and had the element of surprise might make her look weak. While some of her field skills were getting rusty from disuse, she had to have the confidence to outwit Chad.

How hard could that be? He was driven mostly by his ego and the belief that he was superior to kids--a boy who thought that he was better than the KND itself when he decided to leave, betraying them all. Groaning inwardly, she took assessment of her situation. She had a communicator in her backpack she could use to get in touch with Moonbase. There was also a change of footwear in there--currently, she was sporting a pair of dress shoes with elevated but wide heels for better comfort and support. While she knew her father would have preferred to see her wear some of her fancier footwear to this event, she couldn't risk falling over and smearing pie all over some presumptuous adult's jacket. Still, the sneakers were a better choice if she was going to take on Chad.

She would have to make do with her black dress, it was long enough to keep her warm. Mercifully, she had been able to talk her father into allowing her to wear it. Her mother had been insisting that she wear this obnoxious white skirt to the fair, the one with the ruffles that went around her waist and billowed slightly downward. Rachel had always hated the thing, it was just too girly! Of course, her mother still had fantasies of turning her into a debutante--and it wasn't an argument that she was certain her father was going to support her on.

"Hey, Candace, I need to take a break for a little bit," Rachel called as she kicked off her heels, removing her sneakers from the backpack so she could slide them on. "Would you be able to hold down the fort?"

Candace waved her answer in bored fashion. Obviously being a service to someone when you've been served all your life didn't seem so fun in comparison.

By the time she composed herself for a psuedo-battle, Chad had migrated toward the horseback riding booth and began to terrorize a bunch of shrieking children until he caught sight of a few beautiful teen girls by the Ferris wheel. He put up his best bad boy smirk and opted to mingle with them instead. They were no doubt amused by his terrorist-like 'playing'. Typical teenagers.

She halted from her purposeful stepping toward the once-assailant. Maybe he stopped his tyranny for now and she could return to her booth like a dutiful student in peace...?

...until he caught wind of her approach and jumped away, aiming his water pistol at her.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't Supreme Commander Numbuh Three Sixty-Two! Having fun?"

"Hardly," Rachel answered dryly. "You seem to put a _damper_ on the festivities these days."

He snorted at the pun. "Good one. Did Numbuh Two teach you that one?"

She slowly placed her bag on the ground, wary of the pistol. She REALLY didn't want to explain to her parents why her good dress got soaked...

"You are in violation of code 714 of the _Children-Teens Game Treaty_: 'No rough-housing in designated school events unless it is mutual in both parties'---"

Chad's once smug expression turned sour and his grip on his weapon became more forced. "Don't you DARE explain the Treaty to me! I was there when it was established!"

"You're bitter," Rachel egged on, using the distraction to reach behind her and unhook the F.O.S.S.E.Y. from her belt. "Your days have ended in the KND, Chad. Stop putting the blame on the very people you once tried to protect!"

"And you can see how far that got me. Not even so much as a thank you. All of you ungrateful little brats just couldn't wait to steal my entire childhood away from me! I gave and I gave and _I gave_ to the Kids Next Door, and I never asked for anything in return. And you know what's so sad about it? All I ever really wanted was the chance to prove I could keep serving the KND loyally. But no one wanted to give me the chance. They were all afraid that I would _betray_ them." There was something about the way that Chad grinned at Rachel that she distinctly disliked.

"Between you and me, Three Sixty-Two, my actions were far less out of malice then they were out of spite. Although I must confess, I always wondered how you got suckered into taking my place. I couldn't help but notice that you didn't turn the world upside down playing TAG, so there must have been something going on behind the scenes," He dragged the fingers of his right hand across his chin, trying to look perplexed and intrigued. "And of course, you're not such a kid anymore yourself." There was the smirk again. He looked at her in the same way a snake looked at its dinner. "Maybe you should consider joining us. I can already think of a special assignment for you, Rach..."

"---I don't think so." On the outside she was calm and collected, but internally the nagging voice in the back of her head that was once small, piped up louder at the invitation. It was her voice, only older and filled with a bitterness reminiscent of Chad's. It screamed to take his offer and save herself of the terror of losing her memories, of her friends. She squelched it down once more.

But even she couldn't hide it anymore. She was growing up as well, practically a near preteen in comparison to the others.

But that was a bridge she would come to one day. All that mattered was taking a traitor down.

"They needed me, traitor. You up and left for your own selfish reasons, betrayed us and violated the most honorable traditions of the Kids Next Door," She gritted her teeth as the once dull ache of Chad's departure suddenly turned sharp. "We looked up to you---I looked up to you!"

The smirk on his face only grew darker. She wanted to slap that smile off of him.

"Tell me why!" She demanded, swiftly aiming her own weapon at him as a threat. It looked like child-like standoff to the crowds that walked by. Just a show to them. "As Supreme Commanders, we represent every characteristic of the KND: tradition, honor, perseverance, compassion and strength! Why did you take the easy way out?! Why did you slander that title?! Why--" She choked out the last sentence bitterly. "---did you leave me alone with your mess?!

The F.O.S.S.E.Y. wasn't going to be enough. She wanted to strangle him when he looked at her, like she was a toy, or another girl with a crush that he could play with and dispose off. Chad shrugged his shoulders indifferently, not seeming to be the least bit intimidated by Rachel's reaction.

"That's the problem with you KND types." Chad explained. "You're too stuck in your ways, in your ideals. You're too limited." He shook his head. "Listen to yourself! Even to this day, you want to believe that there's some larger rhyme and reason. You need to believe, don't you Rachel? Because the truth will shatter you like glass, destroy your entire way of thinking, of life. That's why I'm going to tell you." He reached towards her, causing Rachel to flinch in a mixture of fear and revulsion. She clutched her F.O.S.S.E.Y. tightly, bringing it to bear as the chicken attached squawked indignantly.

"Don't...or I'll--"

"You'll nothing." Chad said as his fingertips made contact with her hair, stroking it gently. "You were always one of the smart ones, Rachel. Pretty too. You should come with me. I could take you to so many places..."

Rachel let out a breath she didn't even know she'd been holding. A part of her brain felt as though it had short circuited. No one other than her father had ever said something even passingly romantic to her, but this was a boy that offered more than that--he offered acceptance. No one at school ever accepted her. Her life was a constant struggle for survival between her family and her school situation and the ever oppressive call of KND duty. But this...this was different. Gently, she leaned into touch, relaxing momentarily until her eyes went wide with realization of where she was, who she was, who he was, and what she was doing. "Stop it." She commanded, stepping backwards out of his reach. She cursed herself inwardly for her voice sounding so weak and unsteady.

"Is that really what you want?" He asked.

Her answer was an egg from the business end of her weapon. "Why did you do it?" She whispered, already dreading the answer but feeling that she had to know.

Chad looked her in the eye and said something she didn't even think he was capable of. "Because I could."

And then, for a moment there, something that she once thought unshakable inside of herself snapped cleanly in two.

The world seemed to rock on its opposite axis and she felt detached from the matter at hand.

Because he could.

This was more intense than a simple teen vs. child squabble, a simple desire to stop an obnoxious teen from messing with a few kids. A force told her to go after him. Something told her that his intentions were more than meets the eye. He came here for a reason and now it was as clear as day.

"Y-you're..." She trembled in a mixture of fear, resentment and strange enough, excitement. "...here to recruit me."

His stance changed and he straightened, stuffing his weapon underneath his arm to clap slowly, mockingly. "Bravo. You're probably the first kid EVER to realize that. Usually, we'd have to..." He lightly tapped the top of his weapon against the side of his head. "..._beat _it into them."

"I'm not joining you," Rachel answered, trembling slightly. "You're wasting your time."

But they both knew how far she was against the fence. His tell-tale smile proved that fact.

"No one has ever declined an offer from us, Rachel McKenzie," He raised the weapon back up, cocky from head to toe. "Refusal is not an option. You're almost thirteen. You can't _afford_ to refuse." He raised his free hand along with his armed one, beckoning to her.

"Come to me."

It was almost like she was under hypnosis and her feet moved on it's own. Her inner voice screamed to bolt and run, but she couldn't relay that to her motor functions. Her armed hand fell limp and her free hand moved forward to meet his.

He promised freedom, rebellion and memories. Sweet, promising memories...

And then she stopped, a couple feet away from reaching Chad. She can't, won't be like him! She won't betray the things she loved the most!

She sprang backwards as if she caught herself on fire and ran, knocking passers out of the way.

Chad rolled his eyes and sighed, rubbing his face with his free hand. "Why do the good ones ALWAYS run?"

But this was fun. Very fun.

He smiled at the prospect of a chase and ran after her. His orders were clear. He will bring Numbuh Three Sixty-Two to his side whether she likes it or not.


	2. Rising Temptation

_**Rising Temptation**_

_Why me? Why can't I ever just have a nice, simple night? _Rachel wondered to herself as she pushed her way through the crowd, jostling kids and adults alike out of her way, not daring to look behind her.

She wouldn't be caught. She couldn't be caught. There was no doubt in her mind that if he got a hold of her now, something terrible would happen to her. Already, somehow, she had felt herself slip into his power. She wasn't sure how, but it was as though a part of her desired him and everything he offered, perhaps the only way she could ever taste true freedom.

No! No she couldn't allow herself to think like that! Otherwise she was done for already. She dashed out of the midway and toward the rides, forcing her way through the line for the Fun House despite the protests of others. It wasn't the best hiding place, but it might be the only place she stood a chance of getting the drop on Chad.

She apologized to the best of her ability as she elbowed people out of the way, ignoring the attendant as he asked for her ticket and simply forced her way through, stopping to catch her breath only after the doors shut behind her and she was reasonably lost inside the hall of mirrors.

She panted from exhaustion and fear, for the first time since Grandfather's ascension knowing true terror. A large part of her simply wanted to curl up into a ball and rock herself, but that wouldn't solve anything. She would be strong.

_"You were always one of the smart ones, Rachel. Pretty too. You should come with me. I could take you to so many places..."_

She could hear his voice in her head, over and over again, perhaps the greatest work of seduction she had ever heard. She was desired by the teens, in every way. She had a way to escape! How could she pass that up?

Images of her friends raced through her mind, begging her, pleading her, accusing her.

"Please..someone...anyone...I'm not strong enough...."

And then, as if it was played like a horror movie, a sound of something large slid down noisily and gave a resounding thud from far off. And another one. She recognized the location of those sounds.

The front and back entrances. Closed.

She stamped her foot, but willed herself not to scream. She fell right into a trap! Right into Chad's hands!

Back-up was definitely needed. She made multiple mistakes. Elemental ones, no doubt! She felt like a cadet again.

She reached for her bag and froze. Her gear. Her communicator. She had dropped the bag at the stand-off. She was only armed with the FOSSEY...

There was no one to save her, even as her last resort. She mentally kicked herself as she quietly navigated the long, winding halls of glass. There had to be another exit.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, Commander," A low, haunting voice echoed across the fun house. "Too many mistakes already? We've just been getting warmed up!"

She rested her back against a mirror, checking the corners. She was almost sure he could hear her breathing. "This isn't funny, Chad!"

The disembodied voice chuckled. "You mean you're not having fun?" Chad's profile came upon her at once and she fired, the remnants of her ammo sliding slowly down on glass. Chad laughed.

Rachel started to tremble a bit. Blatant, immature games meant for torturing kids were one thing, but mind games were a completely different ball game. She knew the repercussions of that all too well. She needed to focus. KND needed her!

"What are little girls made of, Rachel?"

She rounded another corner and found nothing. She refused to play his game.

He didn't seem to mind her silence. "A pound of sugar, a pinch of spice and everything nice. I think that sums it up perfectly, wouldn't you agree?"

"Why are you speaking in riddles?" Rachel demanded finally, tired of seeing nothing but mirrors.

"Relax, I'm getting to the point," Chad said lazily. "Not all girls are made of that, you know."

Rachel could have sworn she saw something flutter in the corner, like a sleeve. She edged in her two-cents to distract him. "Is that so?"

Chad hummed in agreement. "Only normal girls are made of those things."

"Like me?" She added.

"You? Definitely not," She could practically hear his smirk. "Other girls, like you, who command continuously, who display a never-ending strength, are made of something else."

"And...what's that?" She was close, she had him!

"I'll give you a big hint. Riddle me this---"

Rachel jumped from behind the corner and fired to the point of wasting all her ammo. Anything to finish him off! Anything!

Her heart stopped. A lone sweater hung by, covered in egg.

And then a heavy presence was behind her and she felt adrenaline shoot up her spine.

"What are in-expendable, glass-like commanders made of?"

Her weapon clattered to the floor uselessly. "Chad..." she breathed, marveling at how easily she had been undone by him, wondering if too many parts of her hadn't willed it so.

"You fear me only because you've been told to. When have I ever tried to hurt you, Rachel?"

"You tried to drop the entire Moonbase into the sun! How can you even say that with a straight face!"

"How can you?" Chad asked, countering her claim. "Sector V was on the case, I think we both know that the Moonbase was never in any real danger. I simply needed to cover my escape."

"You put everyone at risk, just for..."

"Some things are worth doing, Rachel. Sometimes, you have to take risks..." His arms encircled around her, and she gasped, falling backwards into him, unsure whether it was accidental or voluntary. "...to get what you want." He sniffed her hair, seemingly pleased. "We can offer you more than you've ever dreamed, Rachel. We can open you up to an entirely new world you've never even allowed yourself to consider. If you stay in the Kids Next Door, they'll only take away everything you are. You've already given them so much. Shouldn't you be allowed to hold onto your identity? Your memories? Teenagers don't treat each other like that, Rach. We respect each other."

Her breath seemed to quicken at the way he touched her--it felt familiar somehow, like she should recognize it, but she couldn't quite place it. "Chad...I...I'm not..."

"We could have been close, you and I. I remember when you were that little prodigy back in the Academy. They whisked you away into KND Intelligence and I hardly ever saw you again. But, maybe we could take some time to catch up, let me show you what we really have to offer. You don't have to end up as some footnote in the KND's computer files. You have the chance to make yourself great, Rachel. Just let me do it." He gently rubbed her shoulders, digging his thumbs into her shoulder blades and hoping to make her decision much easier.

She never felt so bare in her life.

Rachel looked away. If she turned to look at him directly now, it'll be over. It'll be over for the KND and her benevolent reign over them. And she wanted to just give up...so badly.

"I can't leave them," She softly replied, her voice nearly fading away. "I can't leave them."

She felt his fingers press a little more deeply into her shoulders and she winced from the pressure.

"Them," He echoed darkly. "Them. It's always _THEM._ Let me fill you in on a little secret, Rachel, because you're bound to find out one day." He edged his face close to hers and she snapped to another side. He settled for her ear. "Do you know what Supreme Commanders are _actually_ used for...?"

Rachel resorted to shutting her eyes, trying to block out his voice. "Shut up..."

"We're nothing more than husks to be pointed at...scapegoats---"

"SHUT UP!"

He withdrew a bit, clearly satisfied. "So, you're on the verge of truth then? That means you're almost ready for us..."

"No...!" She tried valiantly to twist from his embrace, but he held tighter, forcing her to see the ugly truth. "We represent the model of a true KND operative! Honor, compassion---"

"Don't give me that pre-recorded mumbo-jumbo," He hissed gleefully. "You can't deny this fact. We are the psuedo-parents of the organization, the loser who got stuck with all the paperwork, childish ramblings and the loss of our time! We lead and nothing else! We are the soulless puppets forced to play model citizen to uphold an ideal so stupid! A world where only kids roam!" His fingers dug themselves deeper into her shoulders and she cried out pitifully. "Do you see now? Do you understand why it was so easy to run?! I'm no longer the puppet, Rachel. You are!"

"No!" She cried out. "I'm not!"

"Aren't you? Even now, Rachel. You're dancing on their strings, reacting the way they've taught you to. If you cut it, who will care? They'll cry and wail and shake their fists. They'll call you a traitor...and then they'll find the next poor sucker to sit in your chair and carry on as they always do. Just as you did. And if you stay, then they'll bake you a cake and turn you into a teenager anyway and replace you. How can you believe you owe them who you are, everything that makes you yourself? We teens stick by our own, Rachel. We don't judge you, don't hate you because of some arbitrary birthday. Cree still remembers her life in the KND, you know. All these years, and she still looks back and marvels at what they tried to do to her after years of tireless self-sacrifice."

"Please let me go..." She resorted to begging, struggling uselessly, knowing he could continue to force himself on her in any way he saw fit and she wouldn't resist.

"You're trying to attack what you don't understand, Rachel. Trying desperately to cling to your beliefs. You need to let go and trust us..."

"Never." She whispered, tightening up.

"What?" Chad asked, taken aback by her response.

"I'll never join you. I don't care if everything you say is true. I don't care about how I'm remembered, or about what you do to me. I made a promise to others that I can't break, no matter what happens. I gave my work to my friends, to the Kids Next Door. If I can't even keep that, then I don't deserve to keep my memories."

"Then forget the rest." His face darkened, and she could feel him clutching her tighter, pushing her downward. "Let's talk about us instead."

"I...that...there's nothing for us to talk about!" Rachel squirmed, trying to escape to no avail.

"Oh, but there is. I remember that way you used to look at me when making reports. You always slaved over your reports, trying to impress me. I'm not so sure how well that worked, but you definitely got my attention. I recall your little red-headed friend seemed to blush at the notion as well."

"Don't flatter yourself! We were just girls, admiring how well you did your job!"

Chad ignored her. "I can give you all that and more, Rachel. You're surrounded by people who don't understand you. But I will. Only I can know your plight..."

"No, that's not true! I still have..."

"Now who is the one flattering herself?" Chad asked her, grinning. "You put too much faith in Uno. He's not a bad guy, but he's still a kid at heart. He's never going to love you like I can, Rachel. All you have to do is let me--let all of us."

"Don't you---don't you dare bring Nigel into this!" She snarled, gripping Chad's shirt from behind to the point of tearing. "He's real. He's the reason I keep believing in what we do, that it's not all for nothing!"

"Is that so?" Chad stared at her, almost curiously. "And what happens when he's gone? What if he disappeared from KND altogether?"

For the first time since the entrapment, she looked back at him, bewildered. "What?"

He tilted his head slightly to the side, as if contemplating something foreign to her. "He's that annoying anchor that keeps you drowning, keeping you from breaking out of the surface and seeing the real world. Submerged into the lies that is the Kids Next Door..." He tugged a lock of blond hair that rested near her temple, as if physically interpreting a drop of an anchor. "Every time you near the surface, you think of him and he tugs--" He pulled the lock once. "--you--" He does it again. "--right--" Again. "--back--" And a final, toying tug. "---down."

Rachel remained silent, believing that she shouldn't already irritate what's left of Chad's sanity. He's making no sense whatsoever.

She gave an experimental tug in forcing him off. It worked marginally. Chad merely stared at her, deep in thought.

And then he smiled. One that almost seemed a shadow of the former Numbuh Two Seventy-Four. Rachel's chest fluttered a bit at the trip down memory lane and then promptly squashed it. She was a kid, not a love-struck teenager!

"If Nigel Uno leaves this world for good, I'll finally have you..." Chad answers back thoughtfully, more to himself than Rachel. "We'll finally have you."

"You've lost your marbles," Rachel frowned at him. "All of them."

He chuckled a bit more warmly and his iron grip subsided once more into what one would give his girlfriend. Rachel squirmed a bit at that thought.

"Tell me something and I'll let you go." His smile bordered on dark once again.

She glared at him. "What?"

"Tell me that one day, you'll choose me over Uno. Tell me that, and I'll cease kidnapping you for the group," He urged. A hungry gleam prevailed in his eyes and it scared her. "I'll leave you alone...for today at least."

"Choose you over Nigel...over Numbuh One?" The idea fluttered in her mind hazily, like something she could almost touch. Chad, Nigel...why did they make her feel like such a...girl? She felt her cheeks run hot at the idea of them fighting over her, and as the fantasy began to play in her mind, it suddenly burst as she realized that was it. She had him. Now it was Rachel's turn to smirk as she turned her head towards her captor and seducer. "What's wrong, Chad. Still trying to compete with Nigel?"

"What?" He asked, suddenly taken aback.

"A tall, sultry teenager like you, still threatened by the likes of Nigel Uno. You can't stand it that he's special to me, can you?"

"Please! I couldn't care less about what he does. Nigel's a classic case, Rachel. A KND-holic."

"Mmm, I recall you used to say the same thing about me, Chad."

"Because you were."

"Still am..." She replied in a sing-song, enjoying getting the better of him.

"Maybe you are, but I know that you care about being true to yourself more than anything. You once told me that was why you joined the Kids Next Door!"

"Mmm-hmm. And as you were so helpful in pointing out, Nigel always keeps me centered on myself."

"Are you serious? You would really give up everything you are, all of your memories, just because of him?"

"If you knew him, you would understand." She explained. "It's not just for Nigel...you see, he embodies everything the KND stands for. He's a better believer than I ever could be. It's because someone like him believes in me that I've gotten as far as I have. He never stops believing in me, no matter how many mistakes I make." She looked back at Chad, driving her point home. "I would never choose you over him. Even if he left me, even if he gets decommissioned....I'll still be true to him...and I'll always remember what he would do in my darkest hours."

There was a pause and it was Rachel's turn to tilt her head curiously.

"Heh," His dark smile still remained in place, but his tone was near wistful. "And once again, Nigel Uno wins. And he's not even aware of it at all!" He shoved her away and she nearly fell backwards.

His smile was now gone, replaced by a terrifying sneer. "You say that now, Rachel McKenzie, while your memory is still intact. And since you've decided you want to leave the KND with holes in your head, I'll have to settle for the memory-less you instead. You think you'll still choose Numbuh One when you'll have no recollection of him whatsoever? Not when I'll be there, picking up those pieces!"

"In the meantime, you should work on your pick-up lines," Rachel replied dryly, brushing herself off. "I'm not going for just a pretty face, even when I am a teen."

"You joke," He answered back hollowly. "In the face of the proverbial death of your past. I'm giving you a way out and yet you choose death."

She looked at him pitifully, for once seeing the torn-up ex-Numbuh. "Look at you, Chad. You're a mess. You're bitter and resentful of the life you led. Don't you see why decommissioning's been around for so many eras? KND changes you and then it warps into something drastic when you grow up. It's our very own clean slate. We start over again, away from the bad memories. It's the pain of losing the good memories that's what drives us to run. But we can make new ones."

"That's why you're different from the others." He reached for her hair again, but she stepped away. "I've lost everything to that brat. My reputation, my job and the respect. I'm not letting that oblivious idiot have you too."

"Nothing will stop Nigel Uno, you know that as much as I do," She pointed out with a hint of pride. "Not even you."

A small upturn of his lips debated that statement. "No, but he can be sent far away. If it means giving up my chance just to send him away, I'll gladly do it. He won't win. Not this time."

"You're not sending him anywhere!" Rachel laughed bitterly. "In case you didn't get the memo, I run the Kids Next Door now, Chad. Not you. You abdicated that privilege. And with it, you abdicated any hold you might have had on me. It's kind of sad, really. I was a bit busy at the time...but I think I could have rather liked the company of Numbuh Two Seventy-Four. But you've changed. You're not the boy you once were. You're just a holdover from your childhood, trying to find his way as a teenager. Even now, you're haunting your own past. Haunting me. Look at yourself! You're threatened by a boy whose never even held me as presumptuously as you have been all night! You don't believe in me at all. You just want me to bring my charisma to your cause. So tell me the truth Chad--do you even want me for yourself, or do you just want me to be a trophy for you? Do you even know what it means to care for someone? For even though I may never be able to get him to see me as a girl...I still choose him. And that's what you don't get, Chad. Everything I am...I'm giving all of it to Nigel. A pity he probably won't even realize how much I would let him take...but I'm not the selfish type. And he will succeed me. When my time ends, all I can do is pass what I am into him and trust him to do what is right. And even if I may never remember him...if he remembers me and feels even the slightest stirring...then it's all worth it. You offer me a way out of decommissioning...and yet, you still can't save me. You wouldn't know what to do with me if you had me, Chad. Not anymore."

"We'll see about that. Clearly, Rachel, you were not properly prepared for your role. There are things going on in the Kids Next Door right now that you have no idea about. Things you can't possibly imagine...but you will. Believe in Uno if you like...but one day, you'll call for him and he won't answer. And then I'm going to show up and remind you of the truth. I wonder, really, what you'll do then?"

She stared at him, even more bewildered than before. Nothing he said concerning Nigel made sense.

He easily gauged her reaction. "You're as clueless about your beloved organization as ever. That's why you don't understand what I'm saying. There's more out there, Rachel, than what meets the eye. I may be some shadowed imitation of whatever idol you saw me as, but you--you're the puppet being strung along. I'm just trying to shatter the illusion for you. You may think I'm the enemy, but I'm the only one in this world willing to wake you up from a dream that will never happen."

She regarded him rationally. "And you think you're my savior? What if I don't want to be saved? What if I don't want to know the real truth?"

"Then it wouldn't be you. The girl I know would want answers."

"Why are you telling me all this?" She demanded. "Why are you only targeting me? There are other, better operatives you want! Is it a personal issue, or is it under Father's orders? Tell me!"

"Look around yourself, Rachel. The Kids Next Door is sick and dying. Haven't you even noticed how hard your enemies have been hitting you? Father, Grandfather, and more is still to come. Everyone smells the scent of weakness on the KND and is making their move. You should be stronger than that! Me, I'm trying to recruit the operatives that I feel are worth saving, that have too much to offer to just fade away. If there's anything personal about it, it's that I don't want to see you give yourself a way to a lie."

"And as far as I'm concerned, the only liar in this room is you. You had the chance to make a difference and instead you chose to run away, probably believing the same line of propaganda that you've been feeding me all night! And I've read my reports from Intelligence, Chad. Don't try to play the noble card with me. You've had more girls since you left the KND than Numbuh One Hundred One has Yipper cards. I may lose Nigel--in fact, I'll even go so far as to admit that it's probably my destiny to do so. But I'm also confident that somehow, I'll find him again. And if we aren't meant to be, then I'll find my way to him. But it's not going to be you, Chad. You talk a good game, and you even know just how to stroke me. But even if I get decommissioned and my teenage self is foolish enough to fall for you, you'll always have to remember that _I'm _the Rachel you wanted to conquer, not her. And _I'm _the one who spurned you. And even if you make that teenage me another trophy for your collection...she will _never_ be me. That's why you hate him so much, don't you? He did the one thing you could never do. He got to me."

His expression changed then--from one of shock and anger, to resignation....and then, the dreaded smirk. "Have it your way, Rachel. I tried to save you, I tried to lift you up out of the muck and help you realize your true potential. If you refuse, then whatever happens to you, my conscience is clear. You made your choice. Just be sure to remember that. You chose this fate."

"What are you going to do, Chad?" Rachel asked, pushing her authoritative voice over her fear.

"Oh, now you want to talk?! No, I don't think so. You'll just have to find out for yourself."

"CHAD!"

"Yes?" He asked in an annoyingly friendly tone.

"Tell me what you're doing...for old time's sake?" Rachel pleaded.

He looked at her with a pitiful expression, considering her request. "No."

"You've worked hard to bring me here. There's still something hanging in the air that you want to tell. I want to know what that is."

And there it was. That flicker in his eyes that betrayed his now indifferent expression. She had wondered if he'll ever move on from his hatred and his resentment of a childhood wasted. If there was just a little glimmer left of that old self in there...

"You won't accept my help, so I think I'll leave you to flounder. You're a stubborn girl and you need a good dose of humility to fix that." Chad pressed his digital watch. Sounds of doors opening and search teams flowing in disrupted the eerie silence. "You're still too much in the dark. There's only so much kid in you left. One day, you'll see what I, Cree and so many others saw before you walk down that aisle towards your end. And Nigel will be too far gone by the time that happens. I will be the only one there to save you, whether you like it or not."

The sounds of people yelling and footsteps grew louder and Chad stepped back to retreat into the shadows.

"Come back here!" She yelled, chasing after him. "What will happen to Nigel?! Tell me!!"

There was no answer. He was gone.

But she knew exactly where he'd be heading.

_'Follow the red'_, written on the mirror next to her.

There were red splotches on the floor leading out the back door and into the adjacent woods.


	3. Among Strangers

_**Among Strangers**_

"Am I doing something stupid?" She wondered aloud as she followed the trail to the back exit, taking a deep breath before jumping out. There was only a little open space and then several copses of trees--the edge of the school's property.

The red paint attempted to lead her off into the darkness, but she could have tracked Chad without it--she could just sense that he'd been here very recently. She hated herself for pressing into the woods, leaves crumpling and branches snapping beneath her feet. She might as well have been wearing a pink neon sign advertising her location--this was the perfect place for an ambush and she was blindly walking into one.

And yet, she couldn't stop herself. Chad knew something that she had to know, and he knew that she knew that she had to know. Nigel wouldn't approve of her foolishness, but if he needed her protection, she had to make the effort. After all that he'd done for her, she had to try. She owed him that.

"Chad!" She called out, not caring any longer about even an attempt at stealth. He knew she was coming, there wasn't any point. "We're both too old for these games! Just tell me what I need to know and...and maybe I can trade you some information." She sighed. She hated letting the KND down, but if this was the price, she could always make whatever changes necessary to cover up her security breach.

Rachel listened intently for some kind of response, but she wasn't able to hear much then the occasional rustling of leaves--was Chad on the move?

She reached a small opening through the trees where an old, rundown well was found. She wasn't surprised to see Chad there.

She was, however, surprised to see another person. And they seemed to be deep in conversation.

Whatever they were arguing about was lost upon her arrival and they both turned, acknowledging her presence.

Chad's expression seemed shocked and he swirled around, his voice heavy.

"What is she doing here?"

The figure shrugged. "You let her go. That is undesired. So we intervened, laying the breadcrumbs to lead her to us."

Chad's fingers curled into fists. "She refuses to join. She's not yet ready."

This figure, upon Rachel's observation, didn't seem of this world. There was something truly foreign, out of place.

"Who are you? What's going on?!" She demanded.

"You should have listened to me when you had the chance, Rachel." Chad tightened his fists, knowing the situation was about to end badly. "You always did have to be too damned curious! Now you've burned us both!"

"Both? I don't understand anything you're talking about, Chad! All I care about is the truth. I don't know what you intend to do...but I won't sit by and just let you get away with it while there's still fight left in my body. You used to instill that kind of spirit in us, you know."

"This was not part of the scenario. So then, you and she have joined forces to betray us." The Other spoke, although there was something unnatural about the voice, as though it had been run through a computer.

"What?! No, you've got it all wrong! I tried to recruit her but she won't submit to me!"

"Then you have failed in your mission. It seems we may have to forgo our annexation of your local Kids Next Door and settle for our other target."

"Trust me." Chad explained. "The sooner, the better. That annoying runt is a thorn in my side that I need to have removed--permanently."

Rachel was tired of being ignored and having people talk about her as though she wasn't even there. She pressed forward, attempting to reach the clearing, but it was as though there was a barrier preventing her to continue. No flashes of luminescence, no traces of anything in her path. It was as though there was some force that simply prevented her from moving any farther. She howled in frustration as her every attempt to get in was thwarted while Chad and the other figure continued to ignore her completely.

"In that case, this one is of no use to us," the Other revealed what seems to be some kind of hi-tech weapon. "She knows too much. She must be eliminated."

"Wait!" Chad, much to Rachel's surprise, blocked the shot between her and the Other quickly, his glare evident. "It's unnecessary. She doesn't know a thing about us!"

The Other would not listen, it's mechanized voice reverberating as dangerous as it could. "Then you will suffer the consequence of failing your mission." With that, a force from far off knocked Chad off his feet a few yards back.

The Other aimed at Rachel. "You must learn your place."

"I know my place quite well, thank you." Rachel tensed, immediately diving to her left when she saw The Other fire at her. Though it had been too long since she had put them to proper use, the skills she had picked up during her prolonged stint with KND Intelligence came back to her as though she had never left. Never taking her eyes off her adversary, Rachel made certain that all of her movements were both efficient and purposeful, never wasteful or presenting too large of a target. She longed for any kind of weapon to defend herself, even a S.P.L.A.N.K.E.R. would work despite its need for close quarters. She felt vibrant and alive, a new purpose filling her that had been missing for too long. Perhaps a confrontation like this was exactly what she had needed to give her a kick in the dress.

Speaking of which, she had gotten it dreadfully dirty and feared it may have torn. Her mother would be angry at her beyond belief when she got home. All the more reason to channel a bit of misplaced aggression on whoever Chad's dubious partner was. Bracing herself for a desperate gambit, she rushed her attacker, ducking beneath an assault from the energy weapon and landing in a position to deliver a satisfying kick to the torso.

The attacker's hand immediately grabbed her outstretched leg, forcing her to fall on her back. She gasped as her upper back hit the ground.

"You have a strength desired, but it is put towards uselessness," The Other said, twisting her foot a bit. She yelped at the pain. "You don't understand and it is that child-like ignorance that needs to be eradicated in order for you to see the truth. That fool, former two seventy-four, believed in your ability to awaken. He is sadly mistaken."

She tried to kick with her other leg to escape, but it was held at bay due the positioning of her trapped leg. She yelped as she was being dragged towards the old well.

"Let me---let me go!!!" She cried angrily, thrashing wildly.

The Other did not heed her pleas and he lifted her leg up with surprising strength as she was dangled upside down in the air. He prepared to throw her into the well.

A great fear seized her and her cries became screams. Anyone, can anyone hear her?!

She flew for a moment, but knew she'll fall a good distance into the well and braced herself.

"Stop!!"

She did not, however, expect Chad to throw himself into the line of fire, catching her just before she toppled over the well. He grunted and another unseen force hit them to finish the close job. They tumbled over the edge, their screams echoing throughout the journey.

They fell a good distance as she predicted and they landed with a sickening thud onto muddy ground, Chad's body softening her landing.

She blacked out from sheer panic.


	4. Greater Darkness

_**Greater Darkness**_

She was underwater. Floating beneath the surface, but it was as though she had no need to breathe. And yet, the sensation didn't seem at all like swimming, but she rather felt as though she were tumbling through the liquid, end over end in somersaults. It was dark, inky blackness was the only thing she could sense, and yet, there were sounds around her as clear as day.

_"Why won't you leave me alone? Why are you always in my way?"_

_"Don't touch me!"_

_"There's nothing worse than coming home without a comrade..."_

_"My clients are always thrilled with your performances, dear..."_

_"I've tried to teach you to be a proper young lady."_

_"You'd make a better leader than I ever could. Don't let us down now."_

_"You think you know everything, but you're just naked in the dark."_

_"Are you sure you don't want to be __**It**__ again?"_

_"Move it Soldier!"  
__  
"Kids Next Door Rules!"_

_"I've always known I'll go alone."  
__  
"You'll believe anything they tell you to believe!"_

_"She's that girl who thinks she's too good for us."_

_"No one ever understands."_

_"It's what I choose to believe in."_

_"Wouldn't it be easier to just give in and let them take you?"_

_"Not yet...not yet..."_

Her eyes opened and she coughed violently, the horrible taste of mud and stagnant water in her mouth choking her off as she struggled to catch her breath. Her chest burned with the sensation of the wind being knocked out of her.

As soon as she got a hold of herself, she looked around her surroundings. The well was small, but not suffocating. The circular alcoves were made of stone and were still damp despite it no longer being in use. Looking up, the outside world was pretty small. They fell quite a bit.

She found Chad on the opposite side, resting against the wall and was fiddling with his communicator. The fall must have smashed it on impact. His left shoulder looked out of place, indicating that it was dislocated.

She felt a bit guilty. After all, he pretty much broke her fall down.

Chad looked up, his facial features indescribable.

"Awake, are you?"

She rubbed the back of her head, feeling a bump forming. Pathetic in comparison to Chad's injuries.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

He dropped the damaged communicator in exasperation. "Peachy."

"Can we...fix that?" She pointed at his dislocated shoulder.

He looked at it in disinterest. "This is the least of our worries. We've been left here to die."

She sighed, looking up at their only exit.

"Why did you try to save me?" Rachel asked slowly, looking at the abandoned communicator. She wondered if two seventy-four was still in there somewhere.

"Several reasons." Chad stated. "Not the least of which being that you're not worth anything to me, or anyone else for that matter, dead. But if it will placate you, yeah, I guess there was a little nobility in there underneath it all. I mean, in spite of everything, you were still a helpless girl in trouble."

"Helpless?!" Rachel raised her voice, indicating her displeasure at his assessment.

"You tried to kick--" Chad stopped his train of thought, not wanting to let the girl get too close to the truth. "Ah, I wasn't going to just sit back and watch you die. It's just not my policy."

"And I see you got banged up pretty good trying to rescue me. Not that it's done either of us much good in the end." Rachel sighed. "I don't suppose we can climb out of here."

"Not with my shoulder like this." Chad shot the idea down. "But it wouldn't matter if it weren't. In case you hadn't noticed, we're in one of the school's old wells that got tapped out. There's still a lot of moss, mold, mildew, slime, and other gross stuff growing in here. We may not have to worry about drowning, but it's far from bone dry. We're going to be stuck in here for awhile. But hey, if it's any consolation to you--that dress, is completely shot. You'll be lucky to still be wearing it in one piece if we ever get out of here."

"How true, yet oddly inappropriate coming from a teenage boy..." Rachel retorted darkly, forcing herself up to take in the rest of the environment. She cupped her hands around her mouth.

"HELLLLLOOOO?!" She shouted. "IS ANYONE THERE? WE'RE TRAPPED!!"

"Brilliant. Just brilliant." Chad muttered, feeling up his dislocated shoulder. He winced. "This could have been concluded much easier if you just accepted my offer."

"Sorry if my free will put a damper on your plans," Rachel kicked a bit of mildew from the wall in agitation. She made a face at the slimy grime. "Yuck."

Chad sat back, cradling his shoulder. "Free will had nothing to do with it. You're stubborn and still effectively brainwashed."

"Would you quit harping about that? I'm not brainwashed," She growled, sitting as far away from him as possible. "You're just bitter."

"Whatever makes you sleep better at night, sweetheart." Chad retorted back. As he rubbed his injured arm, he noticed Rachel staring at it guiltily. He smirked. "What? No thank you?"

Rachel cleared her throat awkwardly, looking away. "I'm sorry..."

Chad's smirk grew. "You can make it up to me. Like, kissing it to make it better..."

"...you had to had to save me, despite luring me into danger in the first place." She snarked back, delighted that his smirk dimmed a bit.

"Yeah, well, if I hadn't, you'd probably be dead and I'd still be in trouble. You're a real pain, McKenzie. And if I ever figure out why I decided to save you, I'll probably have to slap myself."

"But you did save me. So are you going to tell me if it was all for selfish reasons, or should I feel a little flattered?"

"Oh no! I'm not giving you the satisfaction. I've taken enough lumps for you today!"

An awkward silence began to develop, but Rachel broke it by maneuvering against the stone wall towards him. He looked at her quizzically, his face looking as confused as she felt. Finally, she simply leaned in and kissed his cheek. "Thank you for saving me, Chad." She muttered sheepishly as she withdrew, feeling dreadfully embarrassed. Tentatively, she rested a hand on his bad shoulder, knowing she had to help him with it if they were ever going to get out of here.

"Thanks, Rach. I appreciate it."

"Don't thank me." Rachel muttered. "If I screw this up, you'll need to go to a hospital to get it corrected!"

"How many times have you done this?" Chad flinched.

"Including now? One."

"I thought a leader was supposed to inspire confidence!"

"Maybe, but I don't want to create inspiration that I can't back up, either. Otherwise no one will believe me when I try to inspire them, right?"

"You know, for a kid, you've got some pretty adult viewpoints."

"I'm the Supreme Commander, just like you once were. It comes with the territory, soldier."

Chad stared at her for a moment before resigning himself. "Okay. Do it."

"Should I count to three?" She placed her right hand against the popped shoulder and the other against the back socket.

He steeled himself, trying to think of something other than the relocating of his limbs. "Maybe you shou---AAAAAAHHHHH!"

Rachel pushed all her strength into the snap, forcing the arm to finally join back into the shoulder socket. Chad, delirious from pain, tried to jump away, roaring in anguish as the sound of bones snapping together reverberated throughout his body.

His screams continued and Rachel held him down until the pain subsided. Exhausted, Chad slumped forward, breathing heavily as he composed himself.

"I thought you were going to count to three?!" He hollered angrily, cradling the reattached limb.

Rachel patted his back reassuringly. "It always hurts more on three. Dad says it's best to not expect it. Kind of like a shot." Chad said nothing, though she continued to pat his back.

After a bit of a silence, Chad's next words were uttered quietly in the gloom.

"They don't deserve you."

"Chad..." She glared at him in warning.

"I mean it," He continued. "You're just setting yourself up for heartbreak."

"We moved past that. I'm not betraying the KND. I want to know who that guy was and what you are planning to do with Nigel--"

"This isn't about him!" He interrupted in aggravation. "And this isn't about who I work for! I was set up. I thought this was just about recruiting you, but it's obvious that it was more than that. If we can't have you, we'll get rid of you. I didn't agree to that policy."

Rachel sighed. "What's going on?"

He shook his head. "If I told you, I'd have to kidnap you, or silence you. For good. Is that what you want?"

"Don't you know me by now? I just want the truth, Chad. Not just for myself, either. I'm not willing to just...let go. You and some other people are after both Nigel and myself. And I'm not just going to sit back and let something like that happen. I'll make one heck of a scene if you force me to.

"Typical. That would be just like you, Rach. But I don't think they'd want you any other way. Trust me, you seriously underestimate your own value to my masters. If they've decided to acquire you, it's only a matter of time."

"So does this mean that you're going to protect me?"

"If I try, I'm only going to end up dead and you won't be better off. But maybe I could somehow give them something more pressing to look into. But right now, the biggest problem for both of us is getting out of this well." Carefully, Chad flexed his recently repaired shoulder, preparing a wince but finding that aside from some tenderness, his shoulder didn't seem to have any lingering discomfort. "Wow, you really know what you're doing." Chad seemed rather impressed with her apparent expertise.

"I was a spy. All of us got crass courses in basic medical and engineering. Though I'm far from an expert. I just know enough to help keep me alive if I can't get proper medical attention."

"Seeing as how we're trapped in the bottom of a well, I'd say you're a regular nurse."

"Stop flattering me and changing the subject! Nigel and I...what makes us so special?"

Chad sat back a bit, contemplating an appropriate answer. "You already know half of that answer. What makes Uno special to you kids is the same reason why he's special to us. The real question is, 'why you?'."

"Alright. Why me?"

"And that's your answer," Chad replied. "Rach, you have qualities that surpass those of the KND and characteristics that even bring adults to shame. And yet, you don't see it like others do." He regarded Rachel's confused expression and continued. "That's what is attractive to my superiors. Your only downfall is their desired trait for you. You're loyal. Too loyal. When you trust something, you follow it through to the end. When you believe in something, you'll die for it. What would happen if you trusted us? Believed in us? Your strengths will be ours unconditionally."

Rachel sat back, mulling those words over. Believing he was getting through to her, he tried to seal it.

"I said the KND didn't deserve you. Those words aren't unjustified now, are they? I didn't come here to trap you in this dumb war of children and adults. I came here to free you."

She sighed.

"You can't rescue me from this war, Chad. If that was your intention, you should have found someone to convince me not to join the Kids Next Door a long, long time ago. Maybe you feel that what I do is pointless. After all, I am trapped. By my parents. By my teachers. And yes, even by the Kids Next Door. But I chose this role, I could have said no. But it meant too much to all those other kids who needed someone to believe in after you left. So I did it. And that's my cross to bear. You think you can save me from this...but in doing so, you would only end up making me a prisoner again. Maybe I will lose my memories, my identity. And maybe the thought of that happening to you frightens you. It scares me sometimes, I'm not going to try and deny it. But even so...it may be the only real freedom I have. The only choice I have--to allow it to happen, or to run away. Either way, once I'm gone, someone else will have to take my place. So whether I live or die, in that sense, makes no real difference. But to me, it's everything. Because it's my will, my choice, my destiny. Even so, I'm not sure if the KND could suffer another one of their leaders doing the dishonorable, selfish thing. A part of me is afraid to become a teenager and to lose my entire identity...to no longer be myself. I'll call it what it is--murder. For even I know that the me that comes out of the decommissioning chamber will not be the me who went in. She'll be gone, forever, murdered by a lifeless machine for the good of others. So many years since Numbuh Zero, and we still haven't found a more viable alternative. But I'll do it willingly, because it's what's expected of me. Because if I don't, then I'm no different than you. And regardless of everything I may think and how frightened I may become as my inevitable death draws closer and closer...I still choose my honor over my pride."

"No good. Still no good." Chad muttered to himself, rising to his feet. "You're still...just a kid." He scaled the wall. "One day, you'll understand exactly what I mean. Then we'll see if you still feel the same."

Rachel opened her mouth to protest, but decided against it. There was no use arguing. "We'll have to wait and see then."

"Stubborn brat," He quipped back. "So much easier to nip it in the bud now, than wait until you have no choice."

She watched worriedly as Chad jumped onto a stuck out stone, using his long legs to tackle the distant stones to climb up.

"Hey!" She cried out indignantly. "Don't leave me here!" Chad was already halfway up.

He looked back, a smirk playing on his features. "I'll come back for you."

"Yeah?" She shouted back. "Why do I have the feeling that you won't, then?!"

He climbed over the well and made it out. Chad poked his head out, still smirking. "You'll have to trust me, won't you?"


	5. Total Surrender

_**Total Surrender**_

That had been two hours ago, but she was still alone. Her chest still felt bruised from the earlier impact, and her throat was sore from yelling. There was nothing to do but to sit back and wait, maybe when daylight came, someone would wander within earshot enough to discover her plight.

Once again, Chad had abandoned her, just like he abandoned them all when he left the KND. And still, he held power over her that she hated to admit. He insisted on being so very hard to resist, with his macho, bad boy attitude and devil may care attitude. If he hadn't left her alone in this well, she shuddered to think that she might have given into him, body and mind, perhaps turning her into some kind of lovesick preteen who only wanted to make him happy.

Rachel shook her head violently, trying to clear the images of herself as a lapdog to his every whim. No, that hadn't happened. He had tried, but she hadn't let him touch her...much. She hadn't let him get inside her head...too far.

"Is it really so hard to be alone?" She wondered aloud to the emptiness. She was crying, she knew it. So be it. Rachel sniffed, brushing her arm across her eyes. She would allow herself to cry, but not to sob. She clutched the tatters of her dress around her. She had a plain undershirt beneath it, so she didn't fear embarrassment, but her father would be worried sick when she didn't show for breakfast and her mother would scream when she saw what had become of her outfit, carrying on about her bearing and what a girl of her age and stature should and shouldn't be doing. Growing up--even her parents wanted her to do it. It was an inevitability of life, there was no way to outrun it. But that didn't mean she couldn't try for as long as possible.

She was exhausted and hurt, both inside and out. Sleep was dancing before her and she didn't realize that she had nodded off.

A low sound was echoing from above, but she was too tired to look up. She prayed that it wasn't a large animal.

She wished for someone to find her. Anyone. Surely someone had noticed her gone? Her thoughts initially went to Nigel, which even in her delirium, was impossible. He's too far away.

Something heavy was sliding down the well and she looked up momentarily, but even with her adjusted eyes in the dark it was still hard to see.

"Told you I would be the only one left to pick up the pieces," A familiar voice said. It was almost music to her ears. "Even now, Uno's too far away to save you."

"You're incorrigible." She answered back gruffly. Her throat was dry and cracked.

Chad smiled at the insult and tugged a bit on the rope that hauled him down. "I told you I'd come get you."

"After two hours? Are you some kind of sadist?" She was hoisted onto his back and shivered for the warmth of it. She hadn't realized that she was freezing when she was alone.

Chad lifted her a little higher up, making sure the piggy back ride was at least semi-comfortable for both of them. "You seem to have forgotten that I work for someone very important. And I needed to persuade them out before I came back for you. But what do you care? I'm just the no-good, traitorous jackass, right?"

"I didn't say that." Rachel countered back tiredly.

He clipped the rope snugly and proceeded to climb them up. "No, but you didn't think I'd come back."

She wasn't going to lie to him. "I didn't."

He stilled for a moment, then continued. "But I did. I just knocked your world upside down."

For the first time today, she minutely smiled into his back. "Thank you."

The first part of the ride was quiet and she couldn't stand it. Also, she felt a little vindictive for him leaving her for over two hours.

"You shouldn't run him down so much, you know. I know back when you were in the KND, you admired Nigel's abilities and his tenacity. And now you hate him because you see him as some kind of threat to you." She shook her head. "Or maybe it's because you see too much of yourself in him. I do." She blushed, but no longer cared about hiding it. She was physically and emotionally exhausted and she didn't care about her decorum any longer. All she wanted now was a long, hot bath and the comfort of her four-poster bed.

"Like that pathetic little runt has any of me in him!" Chad scoffed, denying Rachel's observations. "I hate him because he's a pest who thinks he knows everything! He could never even begin to understand the truth if I wrote it down for him one step at a time on index cards! What could you possibly see in him anyway?! You have no idea how much he'll hurt you when..." Chad stopped short, cursing under his breath.

"When what?" Rachel asked in a lazy voice, clutching a little tighter to his back as he flinched.

"Forget I said anything." Chad tried to close the subject. "You're probably right after all. Even though he didn't show up to rescue you like I did."

"Nigel didn't even know I needed rescuing." Rachel yawned. "Besides, you're still missing the one thing that makes him special."

"Do I even want to know?" Chad rolled his eyes as he reached for another stone jutting out far enough to be a handhold.

"You're the one who asked." Rachel shrugged. "Honestly, it's the way that he knows when _not_ to rescue me. He's there for me when I need him. But he also lets me go through my own trials so I don't lose my way. He's helped me become the girl I am, for better or for worse. And in your own way, Chad, so did you."

"And here I thought you hated me." Chad grunted as he pulled them higher up the rope. They were finally nearing the top.

"I don't even hate Father." Rachel sighed. "It's just not who I am. Just because you have an enemy doesn't mean you have to hate them. Besides, hate's a rather strong emotion. It can lead to other ones. And I'd rather not mix the KND up in vendettas or lead them down paths that only go to a dead end."

He paused, as if he was about to say something back. Rachel lifted her head up a bit, wondering what the hold up was. He continued again.

"I'm not gonna say anything," Chad muttered quietly, though Rachel could practically hear him breathing from their close proximity. "Because it's just going to retrace back to Uno and I'm done talking about him."

Rachel blew a bit of blond hair at the base of Chad's neck, causing him to still again. "Stop that." He complained.

"You know you're insanely jealous of a guy who already has a girlfriend, right?" She said. "He doesn't see me as anything more than a friend."

"I'm not jealous!" He retorted, grabbing another stone roughly. The stone broke off and fell down the tunnel. He placed too much pressure on it. "And even if I was, it's more than him not being available. He's too much of a strong presence in your life. It's unhealthy."

"And you're the poster child for mental health, are you?" She sarcastically quipped. He responded by moving up quicker, causing her to hold on tighter.

They reached the top, swinging back over the ledge and back into the real world. Rachel breathed gratefully.

"Freedom!"

Rachel felt elated to be out of the hole, clinging to her rescuer in a feeling of gratitude. "You don't have to be so jealous of him, you know. I mean, even if I want him to...he won't really see me as a girl. Sometimes he does, but...he's too attached to his girlfriend to do anything about it. And I'm not the kind of girl to come between them. So if it makes you feel any better, just because Nigel might have gotten to me, doesn't mean that he _got_ to me. Honestly, I'm not that fortunate a girl."

He scoffed at her words, but his smirk returned. "He doesn't deserve you, Rachel. No one does." He felt her stiffen against his back, but he made no move to set her down. "At least I acknowledge that fact. Of course it won't stop me from having you at any rate."

She sat up, visibly disturbed by his words. "You're kidding right?"

Chad walked a few feet and finally set her down onto the ground. She winced as she noticed her state of dress.

"It got me thinking..." He faced away from her, untying the roped knot around him slowly. "I may have to rethink my strategy of taking you onto our side."

Rachel brushed herself off, staring at his back warily. "How so?"

"You won't object to running away with me, if you love me..." He finally turned, his smile menacing. "I'll make you love me, then."

Her face fell.

"...what---?!"

So much for her savior.

"You'll _make _me love you?!" Rachel nearly choked at the very idea, her mind and body clinching up inside. "You can't _make _me love you Chad. And even if you could, which you can't, you'd have nothing but a puppet. Is that what you want in a girlfriend?"

"Those are big words from a girl who doesn't seem to know anything about herself. You're not so invulnerable, McKenzie. It's simply a matter of knowing where to strike. You want to be loved...and whether you're willing to admit it or not, you're more than willing to be loved by me."

"You're insane!" Rachel countered, but took a step backwards. "I'm not pining for you! I'm not even pining for Nigel that badly! I won't work for teenagers, and I will not become your doll, Chad. I'll give you my thanks for rescuing me from a bad situation. But you won't have me, as a soldier or as a girlfriend. I'd rather be decommissioned if it's all the same to you!"

His smile dimmed a tad bit, but the gleam in his eyes hadn't simmered down. It unnerved her.

"You blow hot and cold, Rachel," He licked his lips so quickly, she almost thought she imagined it. "Willing and then stubborn. My kind of girl. But I will concede, you're still just a child. You are slowly changing and so will your feelings. It'll intensify and you'll desire---and the ones you deemed suitable to love now? They won't satisfy you. You'll crave someone who you'll hate and desire at the same time. Fight and caress all at once."

She stared at him, fear gripping her chest. "I don't--"

"--understand." He finished for her. "I know. But you will. It changes you."

Rachel sighed slightly, looking away. His eyes were too intense and his words slowly began to sink in. The strange feelings within her---were the beginnings of puberty, of teenage-hood. "It changed you."

"Yes," He breathed. "And it's so damn amazing...!"

"How did it change you?" She asked, suppressing a shudder. "You used to be the best--Numbuh Two Seventy-Four. We looked up to you. I looked up to you, knowing that you would lead us through any crisis. We trusted you with our lives--and I would have followed you anywhere you led me. Why did you give that up? Why did you betray us when we needed you the most. I can't understand that..."

"There's a subtle difference," He answered calmly. "Between betrayal and abandonment. To betray, you had to have an ulterior motive. To abandon, you are pressed to move on from something detrimental to you. Those not like us, those kids---they can't see the small difference. They rope in betrayal alongside abandonment. I was becoming thirteen, Rachel. You know my story."

Rachel nodded, almost hesitantly. He tried to hide that fact when he became a teen, but KND caught wind on his ruse. "You didn't betray us," She breathed, enlightened. "You had to abandon your post."

He smiled. "There we go. Now you're finally getting it. I'd never betray the KND, especially you. I saw something in you when I was Commander. You believed so passionately. I'd give anything for you to keep that. I was painted as a monster for running, but it caught me off guard. There was no way to prepare, no way to consider decommissioning. I felt the imperative to keep my memories and I had to abandon."

"Is that what you want me to do? To abandon the Kids Next Door, to abdicate my responsibilities? It's true that I'm getting older...and when I'm honest with myself, I sometimes have difficulty prioritizing missions, because some of it just seems stupid or pointless. But you yourself are just an echo now, Chad. A shadow, a ghost, of the boy you once were. You may have held onto your memories...but from where I'm standing, it cost you something you were never even aware of. Tell me...do you honestly think that I can get it back for you?"

"No...I _know_ that you'll bring it back for me. It's who you are, Rachel. You can't pass up the chance to help someone in trouble, even if that someone is me. It's just not how you operate." His hands landed on her shoulders without warning. "You don't want to see me suffer, anymore than I would want you to..." He whispered, trailing his hands down her shoulders and arms, across the shimmering fabric that comprised her ruined dress and her bare arms.

"Chad...what you're asking..."

"...is for redemption...perhaps even through you."

Stop...! What was once the most prevailing voice inside of her screamed out. It tried to claw it's way up, but it was held back by doubt and Chad's convincing words. So what if she abandoned the KND? They'll cry then replace her with someone else. KND continues on. They did it with Chad. What would make her so special otherwise?

Two voices were warring with each other. The KND voice that's been with her for years and the other one---the one with her voice, only deeper and mature. It's been growing steadily the past year and it seemed to cheer at Chad's words.

The internal battle continued and she couldn't handle the idea of her hormones raging alongside all her troubles---she wanted to scream in frustration over it. She wrenched herself away from his grasp, her next line of defense against him.

"I don't see what's so special about it." Rachel sniffed. "My life is complex enough already, the last thing I need are those kind of changes. I like who I am, Chad. I don't need more, don't ask for more. I don't even ask for him, for anything. My life is full of nothing but stress as it is. I don't ask for anything to make it better. That's why I want to be decommissioned. When my time comes, I just...I just want to forget. I don't want to join your Teen Ninjas. And I don't want to stay in the KND after I turn thirteen either. I just want...to be a normal kid...or at least, a normal teenager. I know you might not approve...but it's my choice. And no one can take that away from me."

The sounds of Chad Dixon chuckling to himself and wearing his irritating smirk set off a warning bell in Rachel's head. "Don't be so sure."

She took a step back when Chad approached her, knowing that once he intrudes on her personal space, she won't have the strength to shove him back out.

The KND voice inside of her growled at Chad's movements, which had translated externally as well.

"Step back," She replied, trembling slightly. "I'm warning you!"

He smiled, almost reassuringly. "You're cracking, Rach. This is good. You're waking up."

"I'm only on to your game, that's all!" She snapped, feeling the need to protect herself.

"It's never been a game with me when it comes to you, Rachel. It's you who makes it that way. Everything I've told you is the truth. I can't make decisions for you, but I can offer to protect you. From the Kids Next Door. From the teens. I can let you be yourself, Rach. Why won't you let yourself?" His hand found her neck, moving north to tilt her head up towards him. She flinched at the contact, gasping involuntarily but unable to say anything. "I'm your last, best hope." He whispered to her, caressing her hair. "Don't throw me away so easily..."

"You...you don't know anything about me..." She countered in a feeble voice, feeling dazed.

"I know many things, Rach. And what I don't know about you, I'm willing to be taught..."

She tried to shake out of her sudden stupor, but he was focusing his attention towards her hair and it felt really, really good.

Can't she just lead a normal life? That was what her heart was aching for. She was tired of fighting for ice cream rations and silly attempts to make kids miserable.

"I just want to have a normal life..." She whispered brokenly.

"If you wanted a normal life..." He said in hushed tones, this time tentatively moving out to touch Rachel's cheek. When she didn't move an inch, he continued, his fingers dancing across her cheekbone and disappearing into her hair again. She tried to face away, but he gently forced her head up to meet his eyes. "...you would never have had joined the Kids Next Door. You crave belonging to something and I won't ask much of you. You don't have to join the Teen Ninjas, Rachel, if it's not something you want. I am now willing to give you that choice."

Rachel blinked. But she was still suspicious--wasn't his initial intention to recruit her? "What changed your mind?"

Chad licked his lips again. This time she couldn't have imagined it.

"It doesn't matter whether you join the Teen Ninjas or not...because in time, you'll want to. Not because of me. Not because of Nigel. Because of yourself. You see everything on a much smaller scale now. But as you become a teenager, your views will broaden. You only think you see a big picture now, but soon, you'll realize just how small it is. And of course, you'll have all those hormones working on that lovely body of yours...driving your mind in all sorts of different directions you never imagined as you, what's the term you girls like to use? Oh yes, blossom. I don't need to recruit you Rachel, because like it or not, you're going to want me around."

"And why, exactly, would I want you near me?" Rachel started, shuddering involuntarily as his hand trailed down the back of her scalp and below her collar, dancing across her neck and shoulder.

"Because like anyone else, you just want someone to love you for you. Not because you're the Supreme Commander of the Kids Next Door. Not because you can do anything special for anyone. But because you want someone to share who you are with, who won't judge you, think of you as too old, a threat, someone to be forgotten. You can wish it all you want, but Uno will never love you. Not the way I do. And not the way I can." Slowly, deliberately, Chad ran his index finger down the middle of her back, pressing slightly at the center and achieving the reaction he had hoped for, Rachel's body practically going limp for him as she let out a delightful little mew. "Look me in the eye and tell me that he can."

She made a strangled sound as he pressed deeper into her back. Never had she been touched there before. It scared her, but his hold on her wouldn't relent. It was strong and for some reason, the word 'reliable' echoed through his touch.

"Tell me," He pressed on, the ends of his words a seductive hiss. "Look at me, Rachel."

She did, almost entirely at his command. Brown eyes met a poisonous blue and she nearly lost mobility of her legs at the sight.

"You can't, can you?" He touched foreheads with her gently, never breaking eye contact. "Because you know I'm right. I can fulfill whatever needs you need. I'm man enough to make sure you don't have to do things alone. I can be by your side."

Maybe, maybe he was right. No, he was absolutely right.

"You've been closing your eyes and shutting your ears to the wants of your own mind, your own body, for so long now that you don't know how to do anything else. How can you claim to be faithful to the KND when deep inside you know the truth is that you resent it? You resent it, you resent all of it, when you're honest with yourself. You can't mask this truth forever, Rachel. You know that almost no one appreciates everything that you've done and your only thanks will be to lose yourself because they don't want you anymore. They don't want you...but I do." She couldn't remember it happening, but somehow, his arms had encircled her roving over her stomach and along her sides. "They don't love you, but I do. What is it that you gain by staying? What will the Kids Next Door give you for your loyalty? Does it mean so much to you? Can you even tell me you want me to stop?"

"It...it shouldn't matter...my wants....my duty...is what's..."

"What duty? Who gave it to you? The same ones who will take it away?" Chad whispered, gently tickling beneath her arms.

Rachel whined at the onslaught of sensation running through her. Chad's ministrations only seem to exaggerate it even more. He chuckled at the sound.

It was cruel for him to pound the ideals he stood by so staunchly over and over again at her. But if he moved away from her now, she'd probably cry from the loss of contact. It has been the only instance ever in her life, that made her feel wanted and loved.

Her new voice was overtaking her old one. It told her rhyme and reason. Chad is willing to make the effort in being there for her, even willing to keep her from the Teen Ninjas if she didn't want to join. He wanted her to have the freedom that he is experiencing. Was it so bad?

No. It wasn't. She just wanted to give in. Just this once...!

"I've already been through it all and know exactly what you can expect. Who else do you know that can understand what you'll be going through, that will embrace the new you rather than be horrified? Who are you going to trust as a teenager, Rachel? I'm the one who will be here for you. And Uno? Well, he'll still be serving the Kids Next Door, probably lamenting how you're not there and kicking himself for passing up on you, if there's any justice."

God, was she tired. It was well late into the night and---when did his voice become so---lulling? His tone practically purred a deep sound and the small pressing of his fingers against the back of her neck and back didn't help much. She felt weird beyond measure and it was exciting.

Chad Dixon's words never seemed so much appealing as it did now. Maybe there was truth to them. She didn't know anymore.

"I was like you too, if your memory still serves you," He continued on huskily. "I was devoted just like you were. I believed in their cause, just like you did. But you know what happened? I grew up. Just like you will. That's the real reason why operatives become decommissioned when they turn thirteen, aside from the secret knowledge of the KND. They start thinking---actually thinking. Then, they rebel. Against adults and children. I will be there, Rachel, when you finally wake up from this dream---decommissioned or no. With the Teen Ninjas or otherwise. You're just too interesting to pass up."

When had he moved closer to her? She practically felt his breath on her lips. She was too exhausted to fight it and at the same time she didn't want to.

"They abandoned me," Chad whispered. "Everything I did was for them. I refuse to let them do the same to you. Call me a monster. Call me a traitor, a jerk, a freak of nature. Tell me I'm stealing your right to choose, your free will, your beliefs. I'm selfish enough to have you without regretting it, from leaving you to your fate. Because you are without a doubt, worth it."

"What am I worth?" She asked lazily, as though in a dream. She could hear the quiet of the world around her, punctuated only by the sound of Chad's voice and the sensation of his breath as it tickled her skin. She knew she should be frightened, but her entire body felt warm and soft at the way he handled her, sheltering her, stroking her neck. Her head tilted upwards involuntarily as he continued his ministrations and she offered no resistance to the experience of his lips against her own, tracing them gently with his own tongue and applying gentle pressure. It was all a dream for her, her reality reorienting itself as her first kiss was stolen, the one she had intended for someone else, even though he may never have taken it.

"That, and much, much more..." Chad whispered into her, nearly causing her to fall over as her legs threatened to give out. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that Rach, but...I never could find the time when I was in the KND, and you were always...busy with something or other. We just kept missing each other, y'know?"

Rachel knew that she needed to respond, to say something, anything. at all. But the best she could muster was wrapping her arms around his neck. She wasn't sure if the action was voluntary or not, but it kept her from literally being swept off her feet.

"Say something, Rach, please, I'm king of 'on the line' here..."

"Keep missing each other..." She echoed back blankly, her senses completely heightened to an unnatural degree due to the euphoria of her first kiss.

It was like with her and Nigel. They kept missing each other, as if there was something written in the stars that demanded it to be so. Maybe him and Chad weren't so different after all?

But, the stars chose today to meet with Chad, not Nigel. To finally break that cycle of lost opportunity, however sudden it was. What did that say about her character and his?

"Am I...not good enough for Nigel?" She wondered aloud, prompting Chad to tighten his hold on her in response.  
Chad traced his lips against her jaw, causing her to shiver. "You're good enough to me." He said huskily. "More than enough."

His words brought her to a new plane of existence where she was content. She didn't care anymore---she just wanted that chance that so many girls took for granted. Wanted to be loved and love in return.

She captured his lips again, this time on her own accord. It was water to her thirst and he hungrily complied, reinvigorated by her sudden confidence.

There was something wrong about it...and she began to wonder if that was what made his every touch feel so good. Was she just tired of being a good girl? Was she tired of being a model child for her parents, a good citizen of the Kids Next Door, a role model for those around her? After all, she could have held on longer if she had wanted this to be different...or even confronted Nigel just like Chad had with her--taken from him what he would never bring himself to give on his own. She could have done it effortlessly...but she chose not to. She could have run away from Chad earlier, but something inside had prevented her from letting him go. She asked for this, somewhere inside. Was he just a stand in for Nigel? Was he what she was looking for all along? Perhaps it didn't matter anymore--what did matter is that he was there, he was filling her needs, loving her. And she could not stop herself from loving him back no matter what might happen to her in the bargain. A lifetime of resisting had led her to this state. This time, she would throw herself off the cliff.

"Then ruin me." She whispered into their kiss, clutching herself against him like a life preserver at sea. "Ruin me, shame me, break me, destroy me...and break this cycle I'm trapped in. I'm so tired of it, tired of everything."

He growled at those words, a low and deep sound that made her want to giggle girlishly at the dominant tone. She would've been terrified at the notion if she didn't seem to care at the moment. Her instincts were kicking in and she didn't want it to stop.

The walls that she proudly held up were crumbling like nothing with every deepening and receding of his kiss. Her initial clumsiness when she took the lead this time was completely overshadowed by his extensive experience in the category.

Chad pulled away immediately to catch their breaths and he uttered the infamous obscenity that would've made Potty Mouth cover his ears in shame.

No further words were needed. He gave her his answer by going after her lips again and she eagerly obliged to his attempts. It screamed his desire to claim her and she no longer wanted to put up that fight against it. She was undoubtedly his now.

But somewhere inside, there was still the question of what would become of her, remnants of logic that tried to cling to her consciousness, raising themselves up like ghosts from a past that she had only just been living and yet somehow seemed like another lifetime to her. She couldn't go home again. Not to the KND, not to her father, not to her life. All of it was gone, surrendered to him for reasons she was only barely able to comprehend. It shouldn't feel so right to be controlled by him, but it did. "Take me with you." She pleaded. "Make me yours. Make me like you...show me that there's something that makes me worthwhile..."

"Don't ask me to do things to you that I can't undo, Rach." He always called her that, ever since they had first met. "I don't want to ruin things for you. You've got so much to offer the world....and no matter how I feel...I'm inadequate."

"Don't bring nobility into this!" She insisted, grabbing him with a surprising amount of strength. "You sound just like him when you say that!

"Are you trying to use me as some kind of cats-paw against Uno, is that it?" Chad seemed taken aback.

"I could be with him right now. I could call out for him. But I'm with you. I'm here with you. Are you going to stop now and refuse to disgrace me, just like he does?"

"The differences between he and I aren't too great." He admitted with surprising honesty. "Disgracing you would be the last thing on my mind. I'm here to change your mind, not break you down and build you up as you seem to believe. But you won't call for him."

She shook her head. "How can you be so sure about that?"

Chad took a firm hold of her shoulders, placing his forehead against hers with a surprising tenderness. "Because if you called him, nothing would change. He doesn't see you the way I see you---the way you want to be seen. You'll remain silent, because you want me to stay."

She said nothing, which fueled that fact into reality. He brushed a bit of hair from her face, running his thumb lightly across her cheekbone. She leaned into the contact.

"Stay strong, Rachel. There are factions at work right now that are above your understanding. If you still believe me false, at least believe in what I say now: I'm doing this for you. Just you and your best interests. You need to stay strong for everyone."

"Boys always say that." She grimaced. "Take care of yourself. Be strong.' My brother says it. My father says it. Nigel says it. All of you...and you all think it's just so easy, But all of you always leave me." Her voice trailed off in a whisper. "It doesn't matter what I do, does it? Because no one stays with me. I give myself away to everyone else, do my part to make things better. But there's no happy ending for me. No matter how loyal I am. To my family, to the KND, to Nigel, even to you....none of you are ever going to stay with me. I wish I knew what was wrong with me." She shook her head. "I thought you were different, Chad. I thought you were..."

"I am." He clenched his fists. "Have you always been this stubborn and willful?!"

Rachel arched an eyebrow. "You haven't lived my life, Chad. I don't care if you've had my job, it's not the same. Nothing is. Are you going to make the hard choices? Are you going to love me, Chad? Or am I just wasting my time on you?"

He kissed her, hard. "What do you think?" Chad whispered heatedly, hands cradling her head firmly to prove his point. "I'm risking everything for you. My destiny, my job, my life! Do you not see that? You aren't the only one suffering---you aren't hated by the very people you're trying to--"

He stopped, as if he said too much. She stared at him curiously before he continued, his breathing more labored.

"I've made my peace. I've told you what I am to you. The question really remains is: are _you_ going to love me back, Rachel? Or will I continue to lose you because you are so afraid that you actually want to be with me?"

A growl escaped her throat, not of anger, but of excitement. "I'll love you, Chad. On my own. Willingly. But it has to be for us. Not for the KND. Not for teenagers. Not for Father. We both walk away from everything. I'll do it for you, if you'll do it for me. I'll give you everything you want. My body, my heart...I'd gladly give them to you if you'll put an end to this and take me away, Are you capable of that?" She asked, moving closer to him again. "You've spent your entire life with ulterior motives...are you able to change them for me?"

"Rachel, I..." He paused, unsure how to continue. "I do want to be with you, but...I can't walk away from everything so easily. The balance that's in place right now is fragile and tenuous...if I walk away...who knows what could happen?"

"But I can't wait any longer." Rachel breathed, struggling to hold on. "I've spent my entire childhood being patient...and it's the one thing I'm out of."

"You weren't patient. You were waiting." Chad's grip was strong and resilient. "You've waited this long. Now is the time to be patient." Rachel continued to shake her head at his words, but he would not have it. "Give me time to finish this. It's almost over."

"I can't!"

It was his turn to shake his head. "You want to be with me, just me? With no strings attached? That won't be an easy request. But I'll do it and I'll go through the motions to do it---and THAT takes time. I'll have to get out, change my mind and they won't like that at all. They've invested too much into me. If you desire this, then it's imperative to be patient. Okay?"

She took his words in gradually, basking in his hold on her while she weighed her options. Her logical side was slowly kicking in, agreeing with Chad's dilemma. Whatever had a hold of him, it seemed hard to break from.

"Okay," She breathed out softly. "But I can't do it forever."

He nodded resolutely, recapturing her lips. "I won't have you wait long, Rachel. Not like the others. I swear."

She delighted in the returned contact, eagerly meeting him again. "Thank you."

And yet, she needed to know.

"These...these people who are invested in you...they're not going to let you go without a fight, are they? Just like..." She trailed off, taking a deep breath. In for a penny, in for a pound. There was no reason not to tell him.

She continued. "For some time, I've felt that I'm...not what people think. I am not the be all and end all of the KND. When I've tried to do certain things I've found...resistance. Not directly, they're too clever for that. But circumstances will come up to prevent me from implementing my own plans. I'm dancing on the strings of someone else. I've begun to wonder...whether some things are even real. Can you tell me? Do you know...do you know how much of my life has been manipulated? And what will happen to me when they find out what's going on? I'm more scared of disappearing like an unsolved mystery than I am of leaving things done. I haven't even told Nigel my suspicions because I was afraid...I was afraid that they would get to him, too. I know how you feel about him, but...he's been a big part of my life for a long time. Sooner or later, he'll find out about this...and I don't think he'll ever forgive me. To be honest, if our roles were reversed...I wouldn't forgive him. What kind of a girl does that make me?"

"You're just confused. You're not sure who to trust, including yourself. And you're desperate for a little affection. I'll never deny you that." He smiled at her, kissing her gently for a reminder to what she felt inside. "Contrary to popular belief...us teens don't always have it together either."

"And..." He shrugged his shoulders, looking slightly uncomfortable. "I can't tell you much without endangering you in the process. They have a way of knowing. But I will reassure you this: I won't let them pull your strings anymore. I promise."

Rachel sighed in slight irritation. She hated not knowing, not being in the loop. Her gamble to be with him was sudden and with emotion. She wondered if she would regret it afterward if she had no leverage to stand by it?

When his hands leave her, will she snap out of the trance? Fall back into the dream? Either outcome was rising from the heavy fog created from the affectionate contact. Even as she vocalized her desire to run with him, the child in her continues to voice it's discontent inside of her. Her light and dark sides were continuing to war and she wanted it to stop.

She kissed him again, hoping to drown the fighting out.

"Numbuh Three Sixty-Two!!!" A voice called from far off. She felt a low, guttural growl from Chad's throat and his lips retreating away from hers, settling on a comfortable chaste press against them. She mewed absently, subconsciously against the lack of contact.

She recognized that voice echoing from far away, but refused to answer it's call. Chad was keeping her surrounded in more ways than one. For once in her life, she felt a sense of kindred toward someone. She didn't feel so alone. They walked the same path and only diverged from each other slightly.

The kid in her buckled and screamed, telling her that it was wrong and icky. But something else was slowly tearing that voice apart, demanding more from Chad, becoming selfish enough to want to be desired and needed.

Her legs finally gave way from the immense sensation, but it was of no loss. His hold on her was stable to the point of merging. He nipped at her neck and she whined as the sensations rocketed throughout her body.

The voices were slowly getting louder. Someone was approaching.

Chad snarled at the interruption and reluctantly wrenched himself away from Rachel. Her brown eyes were near black from desire. He mentally cursed the Kids Next Door for spoiling things for him again.

No, it was Sector V. He recognized Cree's kid sister howling Rachel's codename. That means Uno was alongside the search party as well...

Slowly pulling herself together, Rachel tried to stand back up on her own. Her operatives were coming for her and there was no way she'd let them see her in this position. When he would not let go, she tugged halfheartedly.

"Le' go..." She mumbled. Chad merely traced his lips against her slightly damp forehead.

"Let them come," Chad said softly. "Your white knight is coming to rescue you."

The idea of Nigel arriving snapped some of her neurons back together. It was as if these were the magic words to waking up back to reality.

"Was this all you wanted?" She wondered aloud, her body quarreling with itself, begging to be pressed closer to his, pleading to be released. "Did you just want to make Nigel hate me?"

"Hate you?" Chad asked with a genuinely quizzical tone. "You were the one who told me he didn't see you as anything more than a friend! So if that's the case, what happens between you and I isn't any of his business."

"It's so much more complicated between Nigel and I than that. You don't understand."

"I don't get what there is to understand." A flicker of understanding seemed to cross Chad's face, and his eyes lit up with a devious grin. "You're becoming more of a teenage girl all the time. Our logic here is just like one. Forget about him, Rachel. I'm the one that can save you."

"You'll never understand. Maybe I'll be with him and maybe I won't...but to be true to myself, I have to at least try." She was surprised at her sudden change in character. Was she snapping back into a child again?

"Don't be a fool, Rach." Chad growled as she struggled further.

"I'm not a fool." She retorted, unable to help herself. It was almost as if flashes of her duty as a KND operative finally found it's way back to her, forcing her to break away from Chad. "I'm the Supreme Commander of the Kids Next Door." And she yelled for all she was worth. "NIGEL! HELP!"

Her scream reached Numbuh Five first, spurring Sector V's second-in-command onwards. "We're comin' for ya Numbuh Three Sixty-Two! Numbuh Five hears ya loud and clear!"

"Damn you!" Chad growled in anger, finally relenting and pushing her away. "I thought you would understand! All of this was for you, Rachel. I would have given you anything!"

She felt cold air hit her as she was removed from his grip. Like reality, it settled in.

"Could you really?" She wondered aloud, her eyes no longer darkened from desire, but in inexplicable anger. Her mood completely whip-lashed. "How could you EVER be sure that you could?! You claim that you could love me more than anyone. What do you know about love?!"

No, that wasn't what she wanted to say! She believed in Chad now...believed in waiting for him to free her from this war. It wasn't her speaking, but she couldn't open her mouth to placate him, inform him that she was saying the wrong things for some reason, as if she was programmed to say it.

It was her Supreme Commander persona kicking in, calling for the troops to stop Chad from keeping her away from her duties---her loyalties to the Kids Next Door. She wanted to scream in frustration.

He stood up straighter, is expression now of intense fury and...hurt?

"You can't stand the thought," He snarled. "Of someone actually caring about you with no strings attached. It scares you and it terrifies you that some despicable villain like me would probably be the only one who wants every fiber of you, everything that makes you, you. The light and the dark."

Rachel started to shake, both in fury and helplessness. Everything he said, it was true and she couldn't even voice it to him...!

Sector V was fast approaching. They both can hear orders being carried out throughout the trees.

Light from flashlights darted towards them, nearly blinding Rachel. Chad remained hidden in the shadows. "I'm not going to forget your expression when you gave into my kiss, Rach."

Her face instantly flared at the memory. "Shut up!"

Chad continued, unrelenting, forcing her to remember what shouldn't have been real. "How you cried for more when I retreated, your arms around my neck, your breath against mine. You hide behind that Commander facade now, but I saw you for what you truly are. It was beautiful and it is mine to keep."

"SHUT UP!" She hollered as Sector V finally arrived, Numbuh One leading them.

Sector V aimed their weapons at Chad, Nigel's glare obvious despite the sunglasses.

Chad snorted, obviously uncaring of the aim of 2x4 weaponry at him. He stared at Uno with a hatred almost unfounded. Uno stepped back a bit, confused.

"Looks like your hero arrives, to keep the precious princess from villainous scum like me." Chad quipped darkly, motioning his head at Uno, his gaze returning to Rachel.

"Well, well, well. If it isn't our old friend, Chad." Nigel grinned in satisfaction as Numbuhs Two and Four flanked him, each bringing a T.H.U.M.P.E.R. to bear. "You're under arrest, Numbuh Two Seventy-Four. Desertion of the Kids Next Door. Aiding and abetting known enemies of the Kids Next Door. Assaulting fellow Kids Next Door operatives. Kidnapping a superior officer. And being possessed with the unwavering belief that you're never _wrong."_ Nigel now grinned ear to ear, a look that Numbuh Five seemed to mirror. "All of these are charges which warrant you an immediate decommissioning. Except perhaps the last one. I threw that one in because it felt good."

Chad looked unfazed.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Uno. But I'm afraid I won't be able to make my appointment. Rachel! Last chance! Come with me now and I'll open you up to an entire world you can't conceive yet. You and I, we were built for bigger, far more beautiful things. You don't have to choose this meaningless existence that these poor, misguided children offer. You may think it's noble, or even right. But in the end, it all ends up in the same place. Death, destruction, and nothingness. Don't let them take away everything you are, come with me, now, and make a difference. You know I can give you happiness, Rach."

Rachel felt as though her entire world were slowing down. It would be so easy, to take control of her life, to forge her own destiny, and to experience the unrelenting pleasure of his touch, stroking both her body and mind upwards to heights unknown. She wanted to know that feeling again. She would give anything to know that feeling again, pay any price, bear any humiliation.

With tears in her eyes, she turned towards her captor and her seducer, screwing her eyes shut. "WE ARE KIDS NEXT DOOR!" She shouted. It was all the encouragement Sector V needed to attack Chad, who immediately bolted into the woods, somehow running faster than all of them, as though he had superhuman abilities. Just as Rachel somehow knew he would.

Gasping for breath, Rachel dropped to her knees, too exhausted to go on, to saddened by everything she had given up.

She was going to black out again. She could feel it. Too much to bear. The temptation!

Nigel's familiar hand was resting on her shoulder, but she shrugged away, as if she'd betray Chad if she allowed his rival to touch her. She felt sickened and violated. She felt like screaming out into the dark, calling for him to come back, how she changed her mind...!

But she knew, if she was faced with the same predicament again, her choice would have remained the same.

And it made her even more sick to her stomach.

Nigel called Kuki for first aid and Rachel knew he was debating whether or not he should help her up, despite her fierce desire of him to no longer touch her.

"Rachel..." Nigel whispered quietly. She refused to look up. "We're taking you home now."

She looked up at that. No demanding of the confrontation like she's used to him doing first? No queries for answers about what she was doing with the enemy without proper weaponry?

To her horror, she felt disgusted with her hidden feelings for Nigel. He was clearly too young for her, too immature...it was as if Chad had stolen that affection away with just one simple kiss. Her perception was radically changed because of it...!

She punched the ground with her fist, startling Nigel and Kuki, who had returned with a first aid kit. She screamed in frustration and anger until she finally did black out.


	6. After Dishonor

_**After Dishonor**_

Watching from far off, Chad rested against the back of the tree, watching the proceedings with a mask of indifference. The Other materialized in an alien-like light next to him. If it could stare, it did right back at Chad.

"I take it that you failed again, Two Seventy-Four?"

Chad crossed his arms, finally looking away. "I guess so."

"You are not disappointed."

"Brilliant observation."

"She did not give in," The Other continued. "She did not betray the KND. That makes her just as qualified as you and Numbuh One."

Chad shrugged. "I guess so. Although, she nearly cracked under the pressure. I nearly had her."

The Other was silent, which Chad assumed was it trying to process this information. "Perhaps she is not so qualified after all."

Chad said nothing, but if the Other had any knowledge of potential human subtlety, it would have noticed a glimmer of triumph dancing in the blonde's eyes.

"May I inquire something, Two Seventy-Four?"

"Shoot."

"What interests you so greatly in that child? Surely there are other, better suitable mates on this planet that would pique your interests."

Chad wrinkled his nose at the blatancy of that statement. "She's special."

"How so?"

He pulled himself away from the tree and stretched. "Your kind wouldn't understand. Leave it at that."

"You were willing to face insubordination and face losing your candidacy to join our ranks in order to keep this girl from us. You will face an inquiry as to why you would do such a thing." The Other responded back expressionlessly. "Do you have a suitable explanation for it?"

Chad stopped mid-stretch. He smiled deviously. "I do."

"And what is that?"

He looked back at the scene. Abby and Nigel were supporting a now unconscious Commander. If Rachel could have seen his smile now! It was warm, boyish and completely like the former Supreme Leader, Numbuh Two Seventy-Four. His answer, a stark contrast to his cold ironic echo back in the fun house.

"Because I could."

She was still fighting internally. He'd forgive her for that.

He also made a promise to her. And it was something he'll strive to achieve for her sake. She deserved that right. When the time comes, he'll be back for her.

* * *

It was not until the early afternoon that her eyes fluttered open. She felt warm and safe, as though she had been cocooned away into a place where none other could reach her. Warm sunlight spilled in through a large window that took up the greater part of the wall. This was her room, the one she had grown up in, had even deliberated joining the Kids Next Door in so many years ago. She looked to her right, her ruined dress had been discarded hastily by someone, though she was still wearing her plain white undershirt. There was the sound of someone clearing their throat, and Rachel turned to her left to see Nigel sitting on an unassuming chair, a folder in his lap that he seemed to only be paying half-attention to.

"I was afraid we were going to lose you." Nigel said simply, staying in his seat. The events of the past night raced through her mind, and she began to feel more awkward than usual around Nigel--although now, there were different reasons.

"It...it wouldn't have been the first time." She said simply, letting her head fall back against her lavish pillows.

"You had a rough night, didn't you?" Nigel asked, though did not immediately prod her for details.

"I...yes. But I don't think you could understand."

"Rachel...when I heard your scream, I was terrified. I didn't know what was happening, only that you were missing and last seen near your school. When you called out to me...I was afraid that. . .that I was going to lose you."

"But you did." She whispered inaudibly, not wanting Nigel to hear.

"Chad kidnapped you, we had no idea what was happening, all I knew was that if it was the last thing I did I was going to bring you back home safe."

"I appreciate your efforts."

"He didn't even take you to Father's mansion. What did he want with you, Rachel?"

"He wanted..." The entire night with Chad Dixon, previously Numbuh Two Seventy Four, made her entire mind reel and her body ache for his touch. How could she have let this happen to herself so effortlessly? What power did he have over her. "...he wanted to sell me something."

"Are you alright?"

"No, I'm not alright. I haven't been alright for too long now!" The blonde snapped at him.

"It's all right, Rachel. You're safe now. You're home, no one here will hurt you."

"Someone's hurting me right now!" She said darkly.

"I don't understand."

"Stow that line of garbage! All of this is your fault! Did I really ask so much of you? Couldn't you acknowledge me even once? You never notice me, never touch me, make me beg for breadcrumbs that amount to nothing....is it any wonder why when he lead me to water I needed to drink so badly? Just once...just once I needed to know I was alive, that someone wanted me..."

She ceased her ramblings and took a deep breath. She was unraveling, allowing her emotions to go unchecked. Gripping the sheets to counter the frustration, any further rants evaporated when she took in Nigel's expression.

Worry and confusion. He was as clueless as a puppy. Who was she to pour out her unrequited frustrations onto someone who knew next to nothing of said affection for him? It was unfair to him.

How was he to know the pains of a one-sided love? He had someone who unconditionally cared for him to this day. She couldn't take that away from him, no matter how bad she was hurting.

He loved Lizzie. He'd be lost without her.

He was simply put, just a kid.

And how she wanted to cry out in frustration. This was it. She was beginning to change. Just what Chad rightfully predicted.

Fighting her inner turmoil, she fashioned herself a smile to placate him. "...ah, sorry Nigel. Forget what I said earlier. I guess I'm still a little shot up from last night."

He didn't look convinced, but she was stubborn. He'll have to take what she can give him. "What was he trying to sell you?"

"Pardon?"

"You said he was trying to sell you something." Nigel pointed out suspiciously. "What was he trying to sell you? Aside from the kidnapping, of course." He let that last sentence drip out, obviously seeing past her initial explanation.

"You wouldn't understand." Rachel slowly shook her head, her eyes taking on a far away look.

"Try me." Nigel asked softly, concerned for what was happening to his friend

Rachel sighed, wishing there was a way to make this easier. "Don't you ever feel old, Nigel? Don't you ever feel like you're done?"

"Done with what?" The boy blinked, confused.

"This...all of this! I get so tired of it. Like there has to be a better life than paperwork and hard decisions. He showed me that there is. But...I held myself back. Something pulled me inside, into safety, brought me back to reality. But the things that he showed me, Nigel....Chad gave me hope in a way no one else ever could. But I don't think you would be able to understand."

He was quiet for a moment, taking in her words. "This isn't like you, Rachel."

She turned away, staring at some indiscernible speck on the far off wall. "I know."

"The Rachel I know," He rested his hand on her arm, causing her to look at him. "Would never give in, no matter how tempted she was."

"The Rachel _I_ know," She mocked quietly. "Isn't perfect. Not at all."

Before, whenever she and Nigel made even the smallest contact, a small spark would shoot up and she thought, for that one split second, that they were meant for each other.

But, when Chad practically violated her personal space, grabbed any part of her within reach, an electrical current would shoot up her spine in large increments, lighting her insides on fire. And she hated and desired him for it.

Now...after quite the fix from Chad, Nigel's touch is almost pathetic in comparison. And it hurt her to know that. Badly.

"No one expects you to be perfect, you know. Especially not me. I just need you to be yourself, Rachel."

"I am being myself, Nigel. That's what frightens me so much. The girl you think I am--she doesn't exist anymore. She's getting older and...and soon she'll be gone, at least in the way you're used to. And yet I can't stop thinking about...what might have been in my life. All the mistakes I've made, all the chances I've taken, all the bad turns I've taken us down...

"Is that what this is about? Are you really so scared of yourself, Rachel?"

"I'm scared of what I might do in the wrong situation." The blond girl breathed. "Of who I will become. I think I might retire soon, before it's too late for all of us. I'm a liability to you."

"That's not true!" Nigel countered, forgetting any sense of protocol to look her directly in the eyes. "It's your relationships and interactions with others that make the difference, that transform you in to the girl you are."

"And it is those same interactions that are making me such a mess. Don't you feel something missing between us, even now?

Nigel faltered at those words, puzzled for a moment. He stared at the hand he placed on her forearm. Now that she mentioned it---she felt cold. Not externally cold, but a strange cold. Like the spark he used to feel. It seemed tame, too tame. He took a real good look at her.

Her face seemed a bit more angular and her cheerful brown eyes were dimmed, almost to a dark simmer, as if she was hiding secrets that would never be brought to surface. And her hair---that golden mop seemed a bit darker as well. She looked like a completely different person to him.

But there was an unmistakable glimmer hiding in those eyes. Like she tasted a bit of forbidden paradise and was fixing for more. Hungering and demanding...

He looked away. It was almost unbearable to watch.

"What...what did he do to you, Rachel?"

She tilted her head to the side and chuckled darkly.

"It's not what he did, Nigel..." She laid back down, her gaze drifting into dark waters where electric blue eyes and a tantalizing smirk reigned, continuing to beckon her to him. His darkness her own personal haven if she allowed it to.

The corners of her lips rose a bit, a small dark smirk reminiscent of Chad's, which startled Nigel.

"It's what he _didn't_ do."

_**The End**_


End file.
